Lauren: Hi Mila.
Mila: Hi Mom.
Lauren: We're going to play a little word association game today for your four-monthday. I say a word or phrase, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Got it?
Mila: Sounds simple enough.
Lauren: Ok then. Tummy time.
Mila: A cinch. My head and neck control are second to no four month old. Dad says this bodes well for my future athleticism.
Lauren: I hope you play something super fun, like tennis.
Mila: Real subtle, mom.
Lauren: Ok, next word: Ava
Mila: Comedic genius of our time. A cross between Robin Williams and Sam Kennison. Or maybe Steve Martin. I mean, have you heard her say "Stinky poo poo diapers" and then laugh uncontrollably? Her timing and delivery are fantastic.
Lauren: I agree. Ok, what do you think of bath time?
Mila: Sweet, sweet spa time. Clearly it relaxes me. I mean, you see how I pee in the tub as soon as that warm water hits my belly button.
Lauren: I do see that. Thankfully you haven't pooped in the tub yet. Let's save that until way later and I don't have a cloth hammock to clean out, m'kay?
Mila: No promises.
Lauren: Next word- fists.
Mila: Nom, nom, nom. Tastes like...(muffled)...covered in layers of caramel goodness wrapped in a cloud of marshmallows.
Lauren: Are you teething? I can't tell.
Mila: None of your beeswax.
Lauren: Kate.
Mila: Short, hairy, likes to fart on the couch. Is she related to me?
Lauren: Definitely*. Kate may not interest you now, but you'll share a symbiotic relationship when you start eating solids.
*Mila has the manliest man farts I've ever smelled coming out of a baby
Lauren: Let's talk about something. Last night you had the worst night of sleep since your first week home from the hospital.
Mila: Yes, and your question is what?
Lauren: It's more of a statement. Tonight we're starting sleep training with you. Not only are you moving into your crib, but you're going to start crying it out. This will hurt us more than it hurts you.
Mila: What the heck are these bars for? How are you supposed to hold me all night if I'm in here. This makes no sense.
Lauren: It's for your own good. And our sanity.
Mila: Good luck Mommy. Good luck.
Lauren: A battle of wills has begun. So shall it be.
I won't have Mila's four-month stats until her doctor's appointment on Tuesday, but I'm going to guess she's chubby, long, and perfect.
For funsies, here is a comparison picture from today, and from Ava's four month tea party:
Mila- four months
Ava- four months. Sisters??
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