Two months have flown by for Mila and for us. Well, some days have flown by. Others have lingered like flies over a long-discarded banana peel. When Ava turned two months old, she granted me an interview. I decided to interview Mila in the interest of fairness and sound journalism.
Lauren: So Mila, how's life?
Mila: Pretty good! Living the dream; I've got a pretty sweet set-up.
Lauren: Oh yeah, how's that?
Mila: I've convinced my parents that I need to be held 23.5 hours per day. I keep saying I'm doing them a favor. Their biceps and quad muscles are developing nicely.
Lauren: Yeah, thanks for that. I super duper appreciate it.
Lauren: Let's talk about your hair. You've got a nice crop, but it's not as long as your sister's was at two months.
Mila: It's cool. I'm focusing more on style than length.
Lauren: That's true, you do have flair.
Mila: I'm shooting for being able to rock pigtails at five months. Six months, tops.
Lauren: Question- can you do me a solid and cool it with the screaming?
*She's actually better than Ava was at this age, but we still have PLENTY of screaming fits, usually when I'm trying to run errands and always at night when Art and I are ready to crash*
Mila: Ha! Mommy, you're funny. It's my duty to remind you that our family is complete and that I am- and will forever be- the baby. See, the key is repetition. I need to sear the sound of infant screams into your cerebrum so that you never forget the newborn days again.
Lauren: It's working. You're doing a really good job.
Lauren: So I wanted to get some pictures of you and Ava today, but Ava had a little hissy and that didn't work out. What was with her?
Mila: I'm not a narc. Next question.
Lauren: Ok, then I think its time to move onto the dress up portion of the interview.
Mila: What's that?
Lauren: Oh, Ava hasn't told you? You're in for a treat.
Mila: Does this flower make my cheeks look chubby?
Lauren: I love the color coordination.
Mila: I'm in a gang. We're called the Tubby Tumpkins. Initiation is making a tutu in under an hour and our monthly dues are three pacifiers and six teddy bears. Don't ask what we do with the teddies. They drink lots of tea and wear silly hats.
Lauren: Um, ok.
Mila: So Ava was telling me about Naples. I got my sunhat ready here. When can we go?
Lauren: Well, it's a sad story. After the Christmas Flight 2012 debacle, Daddy says he refuses to fly with kids until you're both out of carseats and can be rational.
Mila: So I don't get to go?
*one, tiny tear drips down her perfect cheek*
Lauren: Take it up with your father.
Mila: Oh, I will. Believe me, I will.
Mila: What the heck is this thing?
Lauren: This is the bonnet that goes with your Christening dress! Your baptism is this weekend so I thought you'd want a little practice wearing it!
Mila: Good luck mommy. Good luck.
Lauren: Is there anything you'd like to add before we wrap the interview up?
Mila: I just want to know when you're going to change the name of the blog. Ava Bug's Blog? Where's my ownership? If you want me to participate in these interviews in the future, I'm going to need some stock options or headline-sharing.
Lauren: I'll see what I can do.
Precious!
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