This past weekend Ava and I spent Easter in Champaign with Grandma and Grandpa E. Why no Art, you ask? Daddy went to a bachelor party in Las Vegas, because it wasn't "his" Easter (true, he is Orthodox so their Easter is next weekend). I sense a solo trip by Mommy coming on while Art watches Ava for a weekend. Just a guess.
Anyway, poor Ava didn't get any attention all weekend. Let's see what she has to say.
Mom: Ava, tell me about your Easter weekend! Wasn't it so much fun?
Ava: Totes. I had a blast at the park. Remember when I would only stand by the swings and ignored all the other cool stuff and whined until I got to swing for 30 minutes? That rocked!
Mom: Yeah, I remember.There are lots of other things to do at the park though! Like going down the slide, playing on the horses, stuff like that!
Ava (staring blankly): But they're not the swing. Nothing compares to the swing. NOTHING!
Mom (sigh): Okay then. Moving on...
Ava: Grandpa taught me how to play the piano!
Mom: He helped teach me, too! What a cool thing for him to teach us both!
Ava: For sure. Look, we're both playing with our eyes closed. I'm a savant!
Ava: Grandma sure likes to kiss me. What's that on my back?
Mom: Uh, nothing. Just a little fun backpack. It's not like a LEASH or anything.
Ava: Then why is there a long, suspicious looking string that Grandma is HOLDING while I'm walking!? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS THERE!
Mom: It's just the monkey's tail! Grandma was helping so it didn't drag on the ground.
Ava: The jig is up, mommy. I will not be the laughingstock of the playground as the kid who runs around with a leash!
Mom: Take it up with Grandma; it was her idea.
Ava: I had fun going to dinner on Saturday night at the club. Thanks for playing Elmo's Adventures in Grouchland to keep me happy and totally occupied!
Mom: Anytime Ava. Anytime at all.
Mom: You looked pretty cute on the dance floor with Grandpa.
Ava: Yeah, he sure is tan. Did he just get back from Naples? Say, I'd like to go back to Naples. Let's get on that.
Mom: We'll see. Someone has been throwing a lot of tantrums lately.
Ava: I'll tell Kate to knock it off.
Mom: On Easter morning the Easter bunny left you eggs with raisins inside. Did you like that?
Ava: That was awesome! Except Lucy and Kate kept trying to steal my raisins. Hey, why do you and Grandma give your dogs people names?
Mom: Because it's ironic and funny. Duh.
Ava: And on the third day Jesus rose from the dead...
Kate: Yes, that's right. Keep looking over there.
Ava: I was SO thrilled with my new set of golf clubs. Did you know that they can be used as missiles, to hit things or as a teether?
Mom: In fact, their use as a weapon escaped me until I saw you with them. It was a lapse in judgement.
Ava: So multi-functional. I need a second set to keep at home. Why did you make me leave them at Grandma and Grandpa's house?
Mom: Let's move on.
Mom: Why were you crying here Ava? Were you over-stimulated? Tired? Hungry? Missing your Dad who is in Las Vegas this weekend?
Ava: Um, no. I found the Illini cheerleading outfit and remembered that we fired Weber. He was such a nice guy! Who cares about win-loss records? How could they?
Mom: Regardless of what I may teach you, sometimes it DOES matter who wins and who loses. Should we really have been paying $1.3 million to a guy who can't get us to the Tournament or recruit?
Ava: But he was nice.
Kate: Nobody mind me. Nothing to see here. Move along. This Elmo belongs to ME!
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! GOD BLESS!
Great post! Keep em coming!
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